The whole work/family-balance thing is misunderstood. In reality, work and family are both a part of my life and they exist simultaneously. Even more so for those who are on-call or are required to take their work home. And...even more so for those of you who work at home! So, as much as we want to separate the two, the better approach is to give them both your all and wherever you are, be all there.
Here's a snapshot of what I do to steer my energy and focus from work back to family, at the end of the workday. During my drive home I'm already relaxing and decompressing. Music, prayer, informative radio, a quick chat with friends or family, it all helps. When I get home from work I take five minutes to catch up with Daniela and the boys, looking them in the eyes and staying in their presence. It sounds like a short time but it's not. Here are the benefits of this simple practice:
Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. - Ephesians 5: 15,16 When our boys tell me that they can't do something, such as picking up their toys or brushing their teeth, it usually means they don't want to. After I challenge them a bit, I quickly find out it's not that they are unable but that they are unwilling.
Grown-ups at work are not much different. Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” - Phil. 2:14,15 When a farmer sows corn he reaps corn. If he sows wheat he will reap wheat, at the appropriate time. This concept of sowing and reaping is a basic principle of life, which cannot be undone. It is found as far back as in the creation, “Then God said, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth.’ And it was so...” (Genesis 1:12).
See that phrase, according to its kind? It's important. I can't expect to reap job satisfaction, collaboration, progress, growth, and quality improvement on the job if all I'm sowing is bitterness, gossip, complaining, and an attitude of indifference. What am I sowing? That's what I'll get. According to it's kind. If I want good results, I need to sow good seeds. The harvest may not come right away and I may even go through some tough, dry seasons. But the principle stills stands, whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. - Galatians 6:7 Negative is relative.
A manager who gives you negative feedback is actually doing a very positive thing by giving you a chance to improve. Like a doctor who tells you about a small tumor, the very first time he sees it. Just because you receive it as something negative doesn't mean it is. These kind of managers show that they care. They could just as easily ignored the wrong, let you fail, and eventually fire you. The best companies have learned to build a culture where negative feedback is actually welcomed because everyone knows that it's a bridge to continuous improvement. Here's what I've tried to put into practice and some of the tips I've picked up from current and former managers when sharing negative feedback; otherwise known as constructive criticism. First, start with something positive. If they keep missing a step when downloading the monthly report, start by telling them you're glad that they show up every day with a positive attitude. Second, be direct about the negative feedback. Be clear about what they're doing wrong. Tell them they forgot to include the pivot table. Don't be angry, condescending, or loud. Finally, provide steps for improvement and paint a picture of a better future. Be specific about what needs to change and help them get there. Show them how to add the pivot table. If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. - Prov. 15:31,32 You can't control what people say. Or, can you?
There are at least 3 kinds of ‘talkers’ at work:
If you’re a leader, you need to know how to control a conversation so that it doesn’t turn into a long, pointless exchange. It’s an art. It can’t really be learned but here are some steps you can take that will help guide most discussions: 1) Have the end in mind. Be the tour guide. See the finish line and...get there! 2) Ask: What’s the point? Why are these words coming out of his/her mouth? Keep it focused. 3) Wear a smile on your face. Somehow, someway, it just tends to help. 4) Nod. Use body language. Show that you’re really listening. 5) Change the subject stealthily. 6) If and when required, ignore what they say altogether. This takes some practice to get it down right, so they don’t think you’re being insulting. Use with discretion. 7) Keep walking (away) resolutely, as if you need to get somewhere; kind of ties in with #6 but doesn’t require as much explanation. 8) Ask leading questions. Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. - Prov. 13:3 Next time you're in the middle of a tense meeting and there are co-workers talking loudly and/or aggressively, when your turn comes to speak, do the exact opposite. Talk calmly and gently.
Just watch how the atmosphere changes. It's never just about what we say. It's how we say it. So think twice (or thrice) next time you want to make a point. Anyone in the room can be loud and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. Only the wise ones will speak with purpose. "A soft answer turns away wrath but harsh words stir up anger." - Proverbs 15:1 |
ABOUTBiblical, on-the-go, tips for thriving at work. Written by Danny Kovacs, from first-hand wins & losses. This is the digital space where I share free resources and learning moments throughout the week/month. ARCHIVES
September 2023
TOPICS
All
|
Us |
|